


Red

by Charissa_Jonzz



Category: Justice League - All Media Types
Genre: Alien Sex, Eventual Romance, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Lemon, Mind Link, Self-Harm, Self-Insert, Telepathy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-04
Updated: 2018-08-30
Packaged: 2018-12-23 21:33:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 8
Words: 22,921
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11998380
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Charissa_Jonzz/pseuds/Charissa_Jonzz
Summary: A first person journey through the life of the author (that's me) dealing with depression, family troubles and self harm when along comes the Martian Manhunter. The gentle alien breathes color into an otherwise black life and ties himself irrevocably into the pull of hearts.





	1. Chapter 1

Red.

It is an intriguing color, so bold and bright. Little droplets running in rivulets, weaving their own intricate patterns under gravity's guiding hand.

Three long, shallow cuts, nothing critical barely even superficial but it bleeds just the right amount. The flowing river of blood glints, catching the highlights from the overhead lamp, an iron rich smell circling around me.

I don't even feel the pain anymore, skin having gone numb to the blade a long time ago. My poor art knife never thought it'd be used this way. Well art knife, things never turn out the way we want them to do they now?

It hadn't always been this way or maybe on some levels it had. I honestly don't think I can remember. They had gotten into heavy fights before, I had thought it was normal, that it would never be violent. Until one day, it was.

You can never be prepared for the panic you feel at a tender age when you know, intuitively, that something is very wrong and nothing can fix the way you look at life again. All I recall is shouts and a shove along with the broom being used to barricade my mom in the hall way and me tugging on Dad's arm to get him to let her go. I honestly wish I could erase that memory.

That was 15 years ago when I was 6, it was the start of all that is wrong in the lives of my family. Violence, domestic abuse in measured doses, nothing that would be too much for dear old mum and her idea that a family should be united. I think its the fault of that mentality. Not knowing when something is unsalvageable, not walking out when she should have.

Today the scenario is less violent but just as awful. Once you grow up you pick up the subtle cues in the atmosphere that you couldn't as a child, those cues keep gnawing on the back of your mind, reminding you over and over again just how helpless you are. To top that off your family tends to be more careful now that you can think and act independently in ways that might spell court case for certain members. The line is always delicate but its hardly discernable specially when there's no evidence to back you up.

Oh look, the blood has stopped. Time for a few more lines of pain, it doesn't really hurt though maybe if the cut is deeper it might, lets try that.

Ah yes, a searing line of liquid fire. How nice to be able to feel something other than numbness. After so many years of constant cutting it isn't a surprise that the skin has gone somewhat numb, its composed now entirely of scars which can no longer be individually identified. Amazing how people only see what they want to see, makes it too easy to hide the pain and shame behind a thick wrist watch.

I think I need help.

Sleep keeps calling me and all the people I know aren't people I want to confide my heart in. Sure they would be concerned, they would try to help, they might even take me away for a spell till I feel better but there's nothing they can do to fix the damage that's already been done. It hurts my head just thinking of what I should be doing, it feels heavy and my body is aching all over from the exhaustion. Perhaps its time for a nap?

Making my way to the bed is too great a task right now, I'll just lay my head down, my table should suffice for now..

Red again? Two glowing red spots stare into my eyes. What the? _Eyes_????

Wait a minute, red eyes? A closer look results in the same initial observation.

Yep, still eyes, eyes on a green angular face. Clearly masculine, high brow, aquiline nose and a thin lipped frown. Hmm.. I know that face! Said face is staring at me with no regard for personal space.

 _J'onn J'onzz_! Its not difficult to identify such a remarkable alien who is well covered by the media even if the spotlight is often stolen by Superman or Diana.

The face backs a bit from being an inch in front of me to being in my personal space, am I dreaming? There has to be an explanation for this, the best one being this is a dream although there's something here that is not giving off the dream vibe, in fact it's giving off the 'this is reality vibe'.

"Pinch me?" I am quite sure he'll disappear if I touch him.

"You are not dreaming."

Dear lord his voice! Rich and reverberating like dark chocolate made for Royalty.

"You are very much awake in your own mind."

That doesn't really make much sense, but then again, there's no need for sense to enjoy a most pleasant dream. And if by chance this is not a dream, then all the better. Looking around behind him nothing appears familiar, huge glass windows, large beams with rivets and the illuminated darkness of a black sky dotted with a million stars. Its not the sort of sky one can see from out their window no matter what height one may climb to on earth. Conclusion: my dream/reality is occurring outside of earth.

"So where am I? And how did you get here?"

"You are in my mind, not I in yours."

The thin mouth captivates my attention, a few seconds whizzing by in comical silence. This makes no sense, how could I end up in his mind of all places. It's not like I have a map reference there or even any previous misadventures into anybody's mind of all places. The most fantastic place I've visited in my mind was the bottom of a quicksand pit. Not very pleasing that dream, I ensure you.

"You are a powerful telepath, it makes no sense I would stumble into your mind Manhunter."

Its probably the most respectful way to address him after inadvertently invading his mind. It can't be pleasant having strangers pop into ones head unannounced, given how annoying it is when visitors do the same.

J'onn J'onzz, The Martian Manhunter. An alien who rescued earth from a gruesome fate as slaves to a race of white, sunlight allergic shape shifters. I've never really seen him up close but then again not many people have. He's always seemed, detached. Like a god who observes the ways of his creations and intervenes if need be but is not emotionally vested in their activities. This god like creature has a most graceful smile.

"J'onn, please." He corrects.

I nod along still wondering what to do here. It's all fine and dandy to dream about entering an alien's mind but what could be happening beyond this dream, I could be dead in my body for all I know.

"Umm, J'onn, how do I get out of your mind?"

"I can send you back, I am much stronger here than you are."

The bass voice sends a pleasant shudder up my spine as moves closer, green hands coming up to cup my face. They are decidedly very large hands, giving off warmth into every point of contact. The dry roughness somehow registers in the mind realm. How is that possible? Very mind boggling.

The red eyes slip shut, reopening to glow orange and I feel my not so remarkable brown eyes close almost involuntarily.

When I blink awake there's a table stark in my face, my wrist has ceased bleeding and feels scabbed over. My mind is in a state of utter confusion. Dreaming is nothing new but this is the kind of experience that can't be classified as a dream beyond any shadow of doubt. Perhaps it was a product of blood loss. A delusion.

Since answers are not forthcoming today it is best to give it time and see if this repeats or if I have a normal dream to compare this with. Rational thought says its just a dream but the unspoken voice which guides a human says its much more than that. Perhaps a week or so of thought will clear this up.

* * *

Artwork can be found here:

<https://asanthi.deviantart.com/gallery/>


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the accidental meeting of minds, the Martian finds himself intrigued enough to reach out.

A week. A full week. That's how long it has been. A full week of no J'onn.

I seem to have gotten addicted to his mental touch, so much so I don't feel like doing anything except reminisce about the feel of his hands, the echoes of his voice and the soothing aura that seems to engulf me when he's nearby.

Needless to say I've not been very productive the entire week. The urge to spill red rubies has faded from blaring a horn at me to rapping on my door at odd hours of the night. It's almost become manageable.

Wonder how things went for J'onn.. Would he contact me again? Or is he injured and unable to visit?!

Suddenly, being seated at the window is impossible, I need to do something. Anything! I get up and pace the ends of my room.

How do I contact him?

Should I try to? What if he's busy? What if he's on a mission?

Even if I could contact him, what on earth do I say? What reason have I to intrude upon his day to day life?

Do I have a right to?

Four full laps across the room and I've lost track of my thoughts, it's a valid question whether I have a right to try to contact him. He's clearly a busy man. Err.. Alien. I'm making this complicated aren't I? Yes I am.

I could wait till he finds me again but question is will he see a need to do so. The only reason he visited me last time was because I had pleaded to no one in particular for an intervention, so unless J'onn being the polite, gentle creature that he is, feels that we have unfinished business due to his urgent departure, I'm pretty sure I won't see him.

Sigh.. "I truly wish I could figure out how to visit your mind like you did mine, J'onn."

The handmade skull on my table stares at me as if I've lost a few marbles but he already knew I was running on the last few marbles as it were. He's been a lovely friend to me, nonjudgmental and silent. His expressions always changes in my mind's eye to reflect amusement or a berating glint when I've gone and done something exceptionally stupid.

I never regret sculpting him and bringing him home. I only wish I could've brought the Terra Cotta solider I made, home as well. Such a pity, he came out so well too.

Plopping back down by the window all I want to do I get lost in memories of J'onn. J'onn is safe, J'onn is pure even though I stumbled into him after blood loss memories of him don't spiral into thoughts that depress me. They lift me into a state of daydreaming and contemplations on telepathy. Even though I'm quite sure what we've engaged in is not telepathy.

Not telepathy and not astral projections either, so what exactly is it. Could it be some Martian trick? But if it were, there's no way that I would have been the one to initiate our contact. However I've never had such an experience with anyone else either so what exactly have J'onn and I been engaging in?

All sorts of theories build themselves up in my mind while the sun sets across the sky. The sky turning pleasing shades of orange and red. Red. The sky has that same shade of red as J'onn's eyes took when he was reading my mind. The more time I spend observing, the more little things remind me of him.

Distorted reflections of myself from any golden surface reminds me of the gold buckles on his cape. Various shades of blue remind me of his swishing cape although I'm yet to encounter the particular shade of green that is his skin anywhere else. But nothing makes as big an impact as red. Its become a very important color to me.

I could take up meditation practices again and see if I can contact J'onn without stumbling around trying to get in touch with no idea how I succeeded. Meditation takes a lot of practice though. I used to engage in it years ago. Perhaps after dinner, before bed I can attempt it.

Tears had become a common thing this entire week. For someone who prided herself in hardly ever breaking down, I had started an alarming rate of crying this week. It was nothing like the sobbing seen in movies, it was straight overflow of tears and silent tremors. I can feel my limit approaching, all I want is a solid bottle of double black scotch and a bucket of ice. I want to drink away all the memories, drink away into sleep and dreams. Drink away to.. Oblivion..

So many wants, none of the them healthy come to think of it. It's definitely different to feel less inclined to partake in self destructive actions. I guess I should thank J'onn for the lift in my emotions. Sleeping sounds lovely. I'm exhausted from thinking.

A dreamless state of sleep. It's clearing up into the balcony of my mind palace. Hmm...

"J'onn?"

His large hand falls onto my shoulder, turning around the joy I feel is indescribable. He's wearing a simple smile on a tired looking face. At my questioning eyebrow he drops his hand, explaining.

"It was a difficult mission, I'm afraid I received considerable more than I gave."

"Is this not draining you, J'onn? Being here with me?" I'm under no illusion as to how much effort is needed for making telepathic contact and given how tired J'onn looks I can almost feel the strain.

"It is not much trouble, come, sit down." he guides me to my couch and sits us both down. I take up my favorite activity, gazing at J'onn. He smiles at me, "How have you been?"

"Considerably well, perhaps not productive but better. Tell me about your mission?" I love the low pitch of his voice and he never seems to talk much.

"Well," he starts off about how it went and how he got tazed repeatedly. Now that he mentions it I can see the slightly darkened burn marks on his chest. My hand is half way up to touch it when I realize that J'onn for all his uniform's functionality is practically shirtless. J'onn is looking at me curiously and I flush a dark crimson and drop my hand. His eyes fall to the mark on his chest as well, then to my flushed cheeks and he captures my hand pulling it back up before dropping his hand from mine.

The marks are healing right before my eyes. My fingers catch on the rough texture of his burns and I can feel his healing changing the color back to his normal skin tone. He impossibly firm, his chest hardly gives under the pressure I apply to it. I'm not sure if it has anything to do with this being a mind realm or if he truly is of that dense a muscle tone. Either way he feels intensely masculine and I can feel something in me acknowledging that.

The marks are slowly fading away as I drop my hand J'onn has his eyes fixed firmly on me, following my moves with his eyes. It's hard to pinpoint what he is focusing on given his lack of pupils but his stare can be felt regardless. Looking up at him I can see the exhaustion on his face along with something new I haven't seen before. He looks almost wistful and its everything I can do to stop myself from asking how I can ease that look away from his face.

I want to feel him in a realm that isn't my mind. To physically know how he feels, to grow familiar with his scent and his touch. I want to show him my world, introduce him to my home and show him the things I like. How possible would that be? He's far, far away on a satellite station orbiting the earth. He could probably get himself teleported though I'm not too certain if I should bring it up.

All these thoughts flutter through in under a minute and J'onn is still looking at me thoughtfully. He's growing more tired by the minute.

"J'onn, do you think its possible that I meet you in reality?" I'm studiously observing his features for any idea of what he feels about my suggestion. "Not in each others mind but somewhere where you don't have to create yourself in my mind.

He almost cups my face before his hand drops away. He's wearing an impossible to read expression as he nods.

I'm not sure if he's happy with my suggestion.

"I will arrange for that. Where would you like to meet?"

"A park?"

I'm pretty sure he knows which one seeing as how he's in my mind after all but really, I'd be fine with any place he suggests. He nods in agreement and shuts his eyes for a few seconds. My heart wrings in sympathy for him, I place a hand on his forearm, capturing his attention.

"J'onn, you need rest. Your face is near impossible to read and I can clearly see how tired you are which is saying a lot." he chuckles at my words and it's the most wonderful sound I've ever heard.

"You are correct, I should take my leave."

His fingers touch my temple and I wake up to my bed once more. It's still dark outside, 3.00am. Hmmm... Plenty of time for J'onn-less sleep.

 

Ever since J'onn agreed to meet me at the park I've been excited and looking forward to it. Because of how hurt he was after his mission I did not expect to hear from him till at least another week had passed but today is just the following day and its hardly 5 in the evening when I hear J'onn's voice in my head.

"Meet me at the park."

He doesn't need to say which, I know exactly where he is. The only park I visit is Victoria Park. A huge area with trees growing in different densities as one walks deeper into the park. Its a place I frequent to draw people and nature. If you go beyond the crowded first few yards of the park and into the trees, all of the city's noise gets blocked and the only thing you hear is your breathing.

In less than 10 minutes I am dressed in a denims and my favorite white t shirt. I grab my purse and shoes and drive off to the park. I can feel whatever link J'onn has created in my mind getting stronger the closer I get to my destination. He's a strong, calm presence in my mind. Parking my car I walk along the pavement to the park entrance and wait a minute.. How do I find J'onn? He's obviously disguised! Why didn't I think of that!

A solid hand falls on my shoulder. Ooo this man just loves to start off like that doesn't he?

Yep, turning around looking into brown eyes is not what I was expecting. All his features are translated into a human's. The definition is still there but he looks normal and its unsettling after having gotten used to seeing red eyes and green skin. But the weight of his hand is the same.. If I touch him, will he feel as dense as he did before?

"Come."

It's the same soothing voice, the same deep rumble which comforts me. I can feel the link at its highest strength and yes, this is definitely J'onn. Even if he happens to be olive skinned and dark eyed with artfully combed hair (how does he do that?) this is still J'onn.

I figure I'll let him lead and see where he goes. Funny how we seem to never talk much. A pity really. His voice is probably what chocolate sounds like. If chocolate had a voice that is.

There are children playing around us, most of them are trying to stall going home. People are packing up blankets and getting ready for walks. Some are dozing off. J'onn is looking around him curiously and I'm more interested in looking at him. Its almost as if we've come to some silent agreement to just walk away from the crowds and into the more isolated area of the park in the thicker tree growth. He's guiding us to my favorite spot!

Looking up at him, he's wearing that gentle smile, damn I forget he's not green at the moment! I just keep seeing him in his superhero uniform even though he's in denims and a navy blue turtleneck. In the physical realm.. No longer my mind or his mind. If I walk closer can I smell him? Maybe just a bit closer...

Wow. There's nothing to describe the scent of this man. The hint of dark wood found in overly expensive cologne and fresh smell of rain. That's the only thing that even comes close to what he smells like. Am I wearing my perfume? Darn it I can't remember! Ummm... J'onn is giving me a quizzical look, like I've done something adorable. Uh oh..

"Are you reading my mind or am I broadcasting my thoughts?"

His laughter is enough to warm a soul. Even if it is at my expense.

"Humans are not used to thinking to themselves. Their thoughts are always broadcasted. I always hear them even when I don't want to." His eyed are twinkling at me as we loose the masses of people and enter the woods. Whatever noise there was earlier has died gradually with each step we've taken. His breathing is almost audible now. Deep, flowing breaths which expand his human chest. He's reaching over me to pull out the hidden blanket and books I store in the hollow of the large tree I consider mine. There's electricity when I accidentally graze my fingers against his while taking the blanket from him. Unusual. Looks like the real world does differ from the mind.

J'onn sits down next to me and leans against the sturdy tree trunk inhaling deeply, I take up my favorite activity - J'onn gazing.

"Can you change form here?"

His eyes open and I miss the red, pupil less eyes which I've grown familiar with.

"Do you not find this form pleasing?"

Well... To be honest he does look good in his chosen disguise but that's what it is, a disguise. Not the real him. Telling him that should be easy enough.. Why am I avoiding his gaze over something so simple.

Gentle fingers tip my chin till I'm looking at red eyes on the green face I'm used to.

"Tell me."

"I miss your red eyes J'onn." I softly whisper it to him hoping it doesn't come across as odd. After all I should be more comfortable with eyes that look like my own but here I am missing what are clearly alien eyes but it's more than just his eyes and I proceed to blurt out my feelings on his disguise. J'onn absorbs what I say while removing his hand from my face, his expression most thoughtful.

"It is not often that a human prefers a shape that they are unfamiliar with." J'onn tells me thoughtfully. "You intrigue me in your reactions."

I flush crimson from his comment and avert my eyes. By the time I turn to look at him, he has dropped his disguise and the brown eyed human is replaced by the red eyed alien that I am more comfortable with. We're both silently regarding each other neither certain what to say about the turn of conversation or how to proceed. At length J'onn simply smiles at me and leans back against the tree till he's settled comfortably. Looking at the broad expanse of his chest I wistfully wish for the temperature around me to drop so I have an excuse to settle closer to him.

J'onn lets out a rumbling laugh and his arm shoots out to curl across the back of my shoulders, pulling my body against the side of his chest. The realization of just how loudly I must've been thinking strikes me and I feverently wish for the ground to open up and swallow me as I cover my face with my hands.

This is beyond embarrassing. I will have to learn to quieten my thoughts around this telepath if I ever want to get out of this without embarrassing myself further. J'onn's dark chocolate laughter is not helping me in the least as he merrily chuckles and squeezes me to him in amused affection. I conveniently hide my face in his collar, with his blue cape draped over his arm covering me and his warmth radiating into the confined space, a surreal sense of calmness settles around us.

It's the most at peace I've felt in years. J'onn seems just as comfortable and I take this golden opportunity to memorize every detail I can of this moment. Setting my focus on the warm body against me, I register the unique scent that is J'onn and the feel of the soft fabric around me. His golden cape fasteners are just a breath away from me and it offers me a new angle to see from. The golden reflection of his face titled to look at me against his chest is completed with my own reflection in the buckle. I can feel the soft rise and fall of his chest with each breath he takes and his heart is beating steady and strong. My own breathing automatically synchronizes with his while my heart attempts to match the alien beat.

"I've never been this relaxed in my life, I'd stay here forever."

He gives my shoulders a squeeze and I tilt my face up to look at him. Up close, I notice his eyes are more than just red. There's edges of maroon and hints of orange in those eyes as they search mine. I wonder if he finds my eyes as fascinating as I find his. Perhaps the novelty of human eyes has worn on him after spending so much time with human eyed superheroes but for me his eyes as enthralling.

"Human interactions are something I have watched from afar but never experienced." J'onn starts telling me meeting my eyes. "Diana has been persistently telling me to get involved, I did not have an opportunity nor did I have an interest until you. Perhaps I shall be able to please her with this knowledge."

J'onn looks like he has finally found what Diana thought he was missing and maybe he has. It makes a lot of sense when you think about it. Here is a creature who will outlive his companions and unless he finds a place in this world, he will feel isolated and lonely. The thought itself makes my heart wince in sympathy. I must have given off some indication of my feelings for J'onn sighs softly.

"It will be many years before I depart from this life. Martians have a long lifespan but that does not mean I will be lonely. Our memories are - were - long lasting. What humans forget in a few years, I will never forget. Each moment I spent, each memory that is precious will keep me alive long after my companions are in the afterlife."

This is the most he has ever said at a stretch and to have it be this melancholic is upsetting. His baritone voice and heavy words impart more sorrow than any other voice probably could have done.

"I apologize, it was not my intension to sadden you." J'onn gives a wistful smile as he realizes just how much he has revealed and how it has wiped the smile from my face. There's nothing I can say to make it alright for him. His situation is unique and not something I will ever experience.

"Its alright J'onn, do you think you would benefit from me as much as I benefit from you if we regularly meet and interact?"

I desperately want to repay this alien who has lifted my spirits with his mere presence and if spending time with humans is what he needs, then I don't see why I shouldn't volunteer specially when being with him brings such joy to me.

"I believe we can." His gaze seems to linger on the features of my face as he says this and I close my eyes against his shoulder. The knowledge that I will be meeting him often fills my heart with happiness, I wrap my arms around his waist and hug him tightly.

Jesus, he's solid muscle! I am barely able to squeeze him! The density of his body makes me feel like a porcelain doll next to him, no wonder J'onn has always touched me gently. Although I somehow can't imagine him ever being violent or aggressive, I know that he's more than capable of it. A superhero's job description is basically public approved violence in capes.

I gently ease back from his chest to look up at him, thinking of him being violent triggers my memories of violent men in my life. I'm lost in my memories but they're now trying to place J'onn into each scenario, somehow he doesn't fit. Him shouting at me in blind fury or him violently barricading me against a wall in anger don't seem right even in my head.

J'onn must've been trying to get my attention. I snap to reality to find myself facing him, his hands at the back of my head pulling me up to face him.

"Look at me." His voice guides my unfocused eyes from staring at nothing to locking eyes with him.

"Look at me, you're safe. Breathe."

A shuddering breath leaves me and I focus on J'onn, his fingers at my neck giving me something to ground myself to as I breathe to match the up and down movements of his chest. I can't even bring myself to be embarrassed, I feel unhinged. He must've heard my thoughts, his movements are undeniable cautious and projected, making sure I can see everything he intends to do before he does it. His hands gently slide to my shoulders and pull me to his chest, his cape coming up to completely envelope me. I tuck my knees under me and close my eyes, absorbing the calm steadiness of the Martian Manhunter.

My mind starts thinking about what happened and how I ended up going into a near panic attack. He quickly puts an end to that by squeezing me to him.

"Do not think," his baritone voice commands me. "your fears merely tried to claim you. You are safe now."

The mortification I feel is monumental, here we were having a perfectly normal conversion before I stumble into mental minefield only to have this savior alien pull me out of it. If I ever prided myself on being strong, its definitely been taken down a few pegs. J'onn, being the telepathic alien that he is, has obviously picked up this thought of mine and wastes no time in trying to assure me that I am by no means weak. However, he must be able to feel my lack of conviction as I nod along in apathetic agreement to him.

Just weeks ago I had my emotions under control, I would take a blade to my wrist yes, but I didn't panic by any means. This large alien seems to be exuding strength as he tenderly strokes my hair effectively distracting my thoughts as my mind latches onto the soothing sensation. Being calm I notice the sunlight fading away into night and I suddenly realize that its getting late. The park is no place to be after 7pm. Sure being with a superhero would ensure that no harm will behalf me but after 7pm the more base and amoral aspects of human life come out to play and I have no intention of exposing this gentle creature to such inelegant views.

"J'onn, shall we have dinner and a walk if you have no plans for the rest of the day?"

J'onn looks at me for a moment then releases me from his arms and cape with a smile.

"My day is clear for you unless an emergency comes up, dinner sounds like an excellent idea."

He rises and offers his hand to pull me up to my feet. I fold up the blanket and he returns it to my hiding place. We make our way back to my car and J'onn dons his disguise again as we go. To anyone looking we'd just appear like s normal couple, walking close by, smiling at each other and stealing glances.

Night settles completely and the chilly winds start blowing. Why didn't I bring a jacket.. You'd think I'd have thought of things like that after living here for so long. J'onn obviously notices and wraps his arm around my shoulder pulling me closer to shield me from the wind. Its not much help but the act warms my heart as we briskly make our way to my car.

My car feels like a warm haven. J'onn exhales in relief as I turn up the heat and pull onto the road.

"Is there any type of earth food that you like besides oreos?"

The look on his face is priceless.

"Are you certain that I'm the only telepath here?"

I burst out laughing. Its common knowledge that J'onn loves oreos, I remember it being on the papers. On dull days, an alien superhero stopping for oreos makes the gossip news articles, I proceed to tell J'onn just that. He stares at me in something akin to disbelief.

"I promise you J'onn, I'm not lying, I'll show you the article sometime or you can read it off my mind."

"I believe you." J'onn seems rightfully confused by humanity's lack of hobbies. Its impossible not to laugh at his poor, confused face. J'onn usually has such a stoic, straight laced face that seeing him miffed is amusing. "But to answer your question, I have no specific preference."

"Hmm what have you tried so far?"

"Flash has introduced me to various junk food I believe. I am not particularly fond of them. Diana has recommended more healthy food, vegetables taste better."

"Well then J'onn, allow me to take you on a journey of self discovery."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Artwork can be found here:
> 
> https://asanthi.deviantart.com/gallery/
> 
> Enjoy the story!


	3. Chapter 3

I grin at him with glee, glad to introduce him to something new. Eating out is a hobby of mine and I have frequented many restaurants in the area so I know the best place to take J'onn. I pull up to the curb in front of a very moderate restaurant called Andy's. I have come here so often that the owner is now a friend. The portly man calls out a greeting with an one armed hug as he sees me coming up to him. J'onn trails behind me taking in the interior of this quaint little place.

The soft yellow lights create a warm atmosphere and each table is partitioned to give a semblance of privacy to the customers. Many families and couples seem to visit Andy's from what I have witnessed.

"Your usual place, yes Miss?" He grins, looking J'onn up and down.

I know he's going to be keeping an eye out for me. Somewhere along the way Andy has taken it upon himself to look out for me. Last time I brought a date here, he ended up taking me aside to tell me that my date was no good for me. Unfortunately, Andy is always correct. It probably has something to do with working in a restaurant where happily married couples and families frequent, for Andy can correctly predict where a relationship will go and no doubt J'onn and I look like we're on a date to him.

"Yes please." I nod at him and turn to J'onn who is looking at me curiously. Andy escorts us to my favorite table in the corner. Its window looks out to the busy street and the partition allows us maximum privacy. J'onn sits across from me and I turn to Andy as he passes us the menu.

"Thank you Andy." he waves it off and bustles away telling us to call when we're ready.

"That man loves you dearly." J'onn observes, he too appears to have fallen under the spell of the ambiance, his voice softer and lower so only I can hear him.

"I frequent here J'onn, he says I remind him of his daughter." I want to let J'onn experience food not talk about me right now. "Now tell me, what would you like to try? I can assure almost everything will taste wonderful."

"Would you be so kind as to recommend a dish?"

"Try the spinach spaghetti with cauliflower and cheese or you can try a classic vegetable lasagna, both taste wonderful."

We spend a few minutes choosing and I call Andy over, he takes our order and slides a napkin over to me as he pours us water. I knew this was coming but its the first time Andy has been impatient enough to message me on a napkin.

J'onn looks forlorn as he gazes at me, unthinking I reach out to touch his hand on the table. After spending hours curled up in contact with him, it feels normal to touch him. He allows the contact and gently squeezes my hand.

"What's wrong J'onn?"

"I was on a mission a few weeks back, I don't know if you've read it on your gossip papers," He gives me a crooked smile and my heart skips a beat. "Luthor created a creature that absorbed our powers, I had to scan the minds of thousands of people to locate him. The thoughts and feelings that these humans carried, so vain, selfish and petty attempts to justify them." J'onn gently strokes my fingers while looking around us. "But here in this place, these humans are giving off such gentle thoughts that its almost as if I'm back on Mars. Thank you."

My vision goes misty as J'onn J'onzz the Martian Manhunter thanks me. J'onn suddenly moves closer to me and rubs his thumb under my eyes, wiping away the tears. I can't allow him to think I'm sad and I still his hand in both of mine. His much larger hand pausing between mine, waiting for me to speak.

"J'onn, if anyone should be thankful, it is me. You have made me feel alive, I feel calm and content, I know when I return my home will be a mess but I feel like you've given me a light to carry home, so if anyone should say thank you, it's me. Thank you J'onn."

J'onn moves his hand to cup my face and leans closer. Oh god.. Is he going to kiss me? My eyes close and I feel his lips make contact with my forehead. Somehow that kiss feels more like a thank you than his words did. He pulls back slowly and I stare at him, at a loss for words. Thankfully Andy clears his throat and we pull back to allow our plates to be settled. Andy drops me a wink as he tells us to enjoy the meal.

It is only then I remember the napkin that Andy passed me. I pull it to my lap, opening it discretely to see an elegant cursive scrawling out: Keep him.

J'onn raises a brow at me and I shake my head smiling. He drops whatever he was going to say and we settle into out meal. I watch as J'onn takes his first bite of the vegetable lasagna, his eyes widen at me and I know he's found something he will love. I laugh at him and tell him he's welcome. We end up talking in between bites, he tells me of his missions, the exotic things he has seen, the things he has fought and I tell him of my relatively mundane activities such as sculpture and painting.

"What message does the napkin bear?" J'onn asks as we finish our meal.

I can feel my cheeks heating up as I pass him the unfolded napkin, watching human face for any tells. He glances up from the writing and smirks at me.

"Interesting."

"J'onn..."

"We should come here more often, don't you agree?"

"Umm, yes?"

He's getting at something, I can feel it but I've no idea what he's thinking. He laughs at my scrunched up expression and gives my hand a squeeze. His touch gentles my face, I can feel myself smiling stupidly at him when I should be pressing for details.

J'onn releases my hand and sits back just as Andy rounds up with the bill for us. Looking around, night has settled quietly and the street lamps are illuminating people as they pass by our window lost in their own worlds.

We make our way out of the restaurant as Andy gives his compliments for the night, both of us content in people watching till we reach my car. Climbing in I turn to J'onn as he closes the door. His human disguise falling away, he dominates the space around him. I try to memorize this moment of him eased back, looking at me with quiet warmth in his red eyes.

"Where shall I drop you off J'onn?"

"The justice league uses teleporters for travel, when you are safely home I will be beamed up."

"Then we have 45 minutes to spend in my car."

"Time that will be well spent."

Oooh the shivers his words invoke, the rumbling quality of his voice make it sound like a statement of a different, more masculine intent. His eyes do not help as they smolder across the small space between us, locking my gaze under his.

The moment crashes suddenly in on me as we stay in the car park, the engine running in the background. Everything feminine in me is startled awake instinctively responding to this large male seated next to me, yielding subconsciously to the intent in his predatory regard. His scent creating a sense of security which encourages surrender.

Even though he's clearly alien my heart beat picks up it's pace and I'm certain J'onn can hear its erratic fluttering. We're locked in a battle of will for what feels like hours before J'onn blinks and the spell is broken. His eyes soften and I almost question my senses but the electric tension in the air leaves no doubt as to what almost happened.

"I apologize," his large green hand settles carefully onto my shoulder. "I lost myself for a moment."

Being dumbstruck isn't very attractive when an apology has been issued but that's me right now. I shake my head at him making sure to give him a reassuring smile while inside I'm wobbling like jelly, afraid to even think of driving while I'm trembling from his intensity. Its fascinating how shadows and gold light can electrify every touch and every whisper of his voice. I had been against his chest hours before in broad daylight with no such reactions but take away the light, the open spaces and introduce a semblance of privacy then watch the magic happen.

His hand drops from my shoulder, his fingers accidently grazing their way down to my elbow, fire breaks out under my skin wherever there was contact but his sorrowed eyes douse the flames instantly. Catching his wrist I'm again struck by how built this alien is, my fingers can't even encircle his wrist!

"J'onn," I'm silenced by his finger coming close to my mouth.

"No. Do not excuse it."

I guess Martian culture must not collide well with that of Earth. That would also explain Diana's frustration with him. He may have chosen to protect his new home but it is by no means a home to him. It may as well be an orphanage: A place you end up in out of lack of choice and not by choice.

Its a conversation to be had with him on a later day so I nod and drive the car out the parking lot. We steadily cruise down each lost in thought. The silence is not oppressive but it is distracting so I turn the radio onto a nice station full of slow jams for background music. We both relax listening to the soothing instruments.

J'onn watches me as I park the car and walk to my door, he's looking at my house with unsettled eyes.

"Are you alright?"

"Of course J'onn." I smile up at him as he throws an uneasy glance behind me.

Suddenly holding me by the shoulders he looms over me looking deadly serious. "If you need me, do not hesitate to call me."

"I will J'onn."

The disturbed look in his eyes has not dissipated, might as well calm him. I wrap my arms around his waist, my head resting comfortably on the red X of his uniform. J'onn tightens his arms around me winding on arm across my back and the other pressing my head further to his chest, his body offering immense shelter. There's a sense of foreboding in this, like the first shoe is waiting to drop on me. Looking up at him just confirms it. He looks pained.

"J'onn what's wrong?"

"Your parents are not in a good mood."

"Oh J'onn, they never are don't you worry about it." I give him a reassuring squeeze for once and release him.

He hardly looks convinced but drops the topic and lets me step out of the circle of his arms. I watch his eyes glow yellow and second later he gives me a smile just as he's teleported to the watch tower.

Time to take a deep breath and face whatever hell lays behind this door.

The house is eerily silent. No squabbling, no sound of my sisters, no sound of the television or radio. Just dead silence. Very dead silence. Please don't let him have hurt them. Panic is settling inside even as my face freezes in an expression of indifference.

Stepping further into hell, my father's room is pitch black and his snores can be heard so he's alive and asleep, mom is nowhere to be found. Both my sisters seem to have taken up refugee in my room, this can only mean one thing. He got angry and she went off to collect herself. Sigh. Such is life, I hate feeling helpless as my younger sisters cry in fear of the eventual outcome of these fights. I know they have no outlet for their pain except tears but it makes me feel twice as guilty. Here I am, spending my time with J'onn while my sisters suffer in silence.

Now I understand why J'onn looked worried, this is a new level of depressing. Not much left to do I suppose, time to be strong for the sisters till they fall asleep and then wallow in self pity.

My two sisters go all out on sniveling into my pillows after recapping the events of the day to me, I nod along, act tough where appropriate, give them unflinching, emotionless advice then tell them to sleep it off. They know by now that nothing they do or say will make my parents any better so best we can do is move on from the moments and survive.

Once they're asleep the blade screams at me. Every fiber in by body consumed with guilt instead of sorrow. I could call J'onn. I probably should call J'onn but it feels like I deserve this punishment. I forgot myself for hours, having the best time in my life while my siblings were probably cuddled together in fear and pain. Even the blade is too much of a blessing, I'll have to spend the night with myself till I am exhausted by thinking.

I stare into the bathroom mirror, my reflection startling me. Just a few minutes ago I was glowing with contentment and now all traces of light are erased from my face. My reflection looks tired and aged beyond my years, my eyes are dulled till the brown looks like its filmed over in grey. Everything looks grey and cold. Fighting back tears, I stumble into the shower, turning the water as hot as it will go to chase away the utter numbness of my body.

The first ten minutes under the steaming water are a fuzzy memory of steam. The heat settles in afterwards, flushing my skin an angry red as I walk out wrapped in a towel.

My nightshirt stifles and constricts me as I stare blankly at the ceiling not really thinking of anything nor looking. J'onn flits through my mind with a subconscious voice telling me to call him. Its quickly silenced by the rest of my mind. I lay awake for hours into the night, just blank, by 3am my eyelids are heavy from both tears that refuse to fall and a lack of sleep. Every valiant effort to escape Morpheus' embrace finally exhausts itself when I tumble into a restless sleep, too tired to call out for J'onn.

I really should have known better. After all I met J'onn through a telepathic mishap so it really shouldn't surprise me to meet him again in my mind but it does.

Its definitely in my mind this time, I can tell the difference now. His scent is absent in my mind realm and he doesn't encompass the space around him. He looks slightly disappointed, his red eyes almost downcast on his aquiline face.

"You should've called. I would have come."

Oh.. So he is disappointed.

"I didn't feel like I deserved it J'onn."

I'm too tired to try hiding or to give a good explanation. Plain and direct honesty is all that's coming out of me. You know you're messed up when you're tired even in your dreams.

"How did you know when I fell asleep?" It is a valid question. Is he keeping tabs on me?

"I was worried," his reply is soft, his touch equally tender on my arm. "It is considered impolite to read minds but that does not mean i can not feel your thoughts when I am concerned. Your thoughts quieten when you fall asleep."

"You needn't have worried J'onn, I think I handled it alright."

Except for nearly boiling myself to death, I didn't even cut myself but then again that was out of masochism than any actual progress of mind.

My words don't appear to comfort him.

"I can take this from you but you have to believe in me." his words are solemn, carrying more gravity than usual.

I know what he's saying, I should trust him to be able to handle what I say, trust him to understand and sympathize, trust him to comfort me, to allow myself to accept his comfort.

In the short time that I've come to know him spanning over three weeks, its clear that J'onn J'onzz commits with his all. He offers comfort freely, his compassion endless. Even in the beginning when any other being would've fled after witnessing the emotional minefield that is my mind, J'onn J'onzz choose to stay in touch watching over like some guardian angel.

How can one not believe in a man of such qualities?

"J'onn..."

Before I can tell him to read my mind he interrupts.

"Tell me."

So I tell him.


	4. Chapter 4

J'onn listens intently, his face an impossible mask to read. By the time I'm done pouring out my emotions he appears resigned.

"The anger and hatred doesn't surprise me," he states softly. "But the selfishness and the cheap attempts to hide it. The sheer volume of it is upsetting. Whatever love they have for their children should enable them to put aside their anger. You suffer in silence to not be a burden but it costs you your mind. Let me help."

"J'onn, you're a superhero not a psychiatrist. Your job is saving the world, I can't, I won't ask you to help me."

"Earth doesn't seem to be in peril at the moment." he smiles wistfully.

There's no dissuading him. I can see it from the firm set of his mouth and steady eyes.

"What do you suggest?"

"Bond with me."

"What?"

"Allow me link your mind with mine." J'onn clarifies.

It takes me a minute to understand what he means but it takes far longer for me to come up with an answer and before I can say a word J'onn continues.

"You need to look inside yourself. Ask yourself, is being here with me helping you?"

I stare at his red eyes, my face portraying blankness. Being in my mind with him is helping, it makes me feel better but what about my sisters? Do they not deserve to feel the same as me?

"J'onn I'm not the only one suffering, for me to take refuge in you is unfair to my sisters. They suffer just as much if not more given their young age."

He sighs, almost imperceptibly as he cups my face in his large hands. I'm a good foot and a half shorter than him, causing J'onn to lean down to press his forehead to mine, he straightens up just as his velvet voice surrounds me.

"Humans and aliens do not mix," he looks distant at this moment, as if recalling a past incident. "people of this world do not have much tolerance for others who look different. It is absent in you but your sisters will not respond to me like you. They will fear what they do not know and in their fear they will turn on you, refusing to accept your help."

I know what he says is true. I have witnessed it myself in both my sisters and the people around me. The Justice League superheroes are well known, yet the media shines its light on Superman, Wonder Woman and Flash. Batman hides his identity too well but Green Lantern and J'onn are hardly ever mentioned in the news.

Humans favor humans, even then they favor humans with light skin tones. My sisters would respond better to Superman or Batman but they would never ease up to J'onn the way I do.

Is it proper of me to accept what J'onn is offering knowing I'm privileged to a unique gift?

"Think it over, I am needed for watch duty." J'onn softly interrupts my thoughts.

"Okay."

"I will find you tomorrow, sleep now."

His fingers touch my temple, I can feel the dream state fading away. My sleep turns restful and I just know that J'onn numbed out some of my pain. I whisper a quiet thanks in thoughts ready to let my body rest.

Morning finds me turning away from the streaming sunlight falling into be my face. Blinking my eyes open, the smiling faces of my sisters greet me.

"What happened?"

"Mom came back!" they chorus grinning at me.

"Ooo awesome. So did you all make breakfast?"

"Umm no." the youngest replies still smiling.

Ah youth, the simple joys in life.

"Well then lets go make breakfast alright? You guys go get whatever you think we should have for breakfast, I'll go freshen up and come."

The older of my two younger sisters gives me a smile as she tugs the other along and I know that things have indeed settled from last night's horror to a more normal horror to which we have all been desensitized long ago.

The mirror once again presents me with my face, this time less tired and grey. The entire time I autopilot my way through my morning ritual, my mind turns J'onn's words over and over.

Ask yourself, is being here with me helping you?

Yes. It is helping me. So shouldn't I accept his offer? But to link my mind to his, it seems far more intimate than even the most intimate of human acts.

I don't think J'onn has mind linked himself with the Justice League, at least not in the way he's offering to me. At the bottom of this thought his first words come to mind.

I am stronger here than you are. You have to believe in me.

Trust and belief, that's what it all boils down to. Do I trust myself in the mind of this alien? Can he withstand my darkness and not resent me for my thoughts should they turn hateful and selfish? I am human after all, bound to make mistakes, slip up in control and be unreasonable.

J'onn is much older and far more grounded than I could ever hope to be even if did loose his composure yesterday.

"COME DOWN FOR BREAKFAST!"

"COMING!" I shout back at my sisters.

I rush out of the bathroom, dressing quickly before my sisters finish all the food in their joyful mood.

"We made noodles!" the youngest thrusts a plate right in my face.

"Yes.. I would be able to see that if you backed it up a bit."

They burst out laughing and we settle to finish breakfast. Looks like mom has already eaten and dad is nowhere to be found meaning he's gone off for work. At least the house will be peaceful today, my sisters can go off for their classes and enjoy the day.

We clean up the kitchen, prepare lunch for when needed and I help them with their summer holiday projects. Being a college student graduating in approximately six months, I have my own studies to attend to so we gather around to study and munch of snacks. Summer holidays are the best time of year, as a school teacher I get holidays to stay and prepare for the next term.

Being a working student usually occupies my time so thoroughly that I barely have time to spend with my sisters or myself, so now we make the most of it. Mom joins us at the table with steaming cups of tea as she finishes up what we prepared for lunch. We work in a happy silence till lunch time comes around.

The dining room fills with idle chatter after which mom takes my sisters out for their music and art lessons. The house is all mine.

J'onn crosses my mind as I settle myself on the window ledge with my college notebook.

When I think about it I already trust him. I just spent hours with him without a single concern for the fact that I basically went out to meet a stranger after he telepathically contacted me. To top it off, it didn't even occur to me that I might be harmed. I simply trusted him with my physical presence and all my emotions.

Hmm.. Time to head off to the park for a thoughtful walk.

It had become a habit, my mind clears better when I'm walking surrounded by trees and sunlight so I often head out to the park with my books and bagful of snacks. Depending on what's available in my kitchen I often end up making sandwiches, pies, tarts and various drinks. Today I'm the mood for sandwhiches, tarts and fruits.

The early evening is a time when crowds gather in the park so I escape the crowds and make my way to my favorite place.

Blanket spread out, books in a corner and snacks in my bag, I lay down to read. The books captures my attention for an hour before the sound of rustling leaves and sunlight on my face distract me.

Lowering my book I stare up at the canopy of leaves breaking apart to create points of sunlight which twinkle in the wind like stars in a night sky.

My mind linked with J'onn would be something like that I imagine. My thoughts interrupted by his like the sunlight breaking through the leaves, lending the darkness much needed color. Would it be as beautiful as this? Will I feel this way once it is done?

It catches me by surprise when blue light fizzles into life a few feet away from me. I jerk upright, ready to throw my book at it and flee.

J'onn materializes before my eyes, his brow raised in question at my book aimed like a javelin at him.

"God you startled me." I breathe out lowering my arm.

"I apologize. It was not my intention."

I nod at him gesturing to the blanket, my heart wildly thumping from the scare I pull out a bottle of water for drink, watching him as he settles down beside me.

J'onn doesn't look the least bit tired after yesterday and his watch duty. I mention this to him as I offer the bottle to him.

"Thank you, my Martian physiology doesn't require much rest."

"I'm sure that comes in very handy as a superhero."

"Indeed it does."

We settle into silence, each regarding the other carefully, both contemplating the obvious unsaid until I reach out and touch his arm to break the heavy silence.

"J'onn, I've thought about what you said." I look straight into his eyes, seeing the red orbs reflecting me back. "I accept."

J'onn takes my hands carefully in his. It soothes me immediately and I can feel my heartbeat slowing down.

"You need not fear, on Mars we were all connected to each other through the Great Voice. It was the collective sound of the thoughts of my people. Now I am the sole survivor and there is no voice to be heard but silence all around me." he pauses and I feel the gravity of his words.

This would be new to me but it would be normal to him, he was used to the thoughts of a thousand Martians flickering through his mind. I could barely stand my own.

"You will be safe in my hands. I have a feeling this will be easier for you than you think. You will be able to hear my thoughts, find me at any time you need me, if you desire it to be less I can control it."

Every word J'onn says reassures me further and I know I've made the right call.

"J'onn just one question, I understand what you are saying and I understand what to expect now but what about you? Will you be alright knowing that I am privy to your thoughts? I feel like this isn't something even the Justice League is a part of."

His smile radiates warmth along with his hands which cup my face in what I'm beginning to believe is his favorite move.

"I assure you, I will be fine. And yes, you are correct, the Justice League is not a part of this. They would not be able to understand this but you, you'll handle it."

"Alright then J'onn, how do we do this?"

His fingers spread out till the back of my head is cradled in his hands, his thumbs at each of my temples pressing in lightly. He tilts my head up to look at me, his baritone voice softly urging me to close my eyes.

I watch as his red eyes are blocked by my eyelids and become acutely aware of his warmth around me, the rustle of his cape in the wind as it drapes across his biceps, his dark wood and rain scent surrounds me just as electricity shoots through my temples.

My hands fly to his forearms to ground myself from the sudden onslaught of sheer emotions. Its like dying where instead of my life flashing before my eyes, I see his life flash across my eyes.

All of his memories, his life, his wife and child, his planet, battles, sorrow, acceptance of his fate, happiness, contentment and sense of purpose invade every one of my senses, making me live his life as if I were him.

Its dizzying, its terrifying and its heart wrenchingly painful.

I come out of it to find J'onn wiping away my tears, his voice tenderly coaxing me to open my eyes.

"Look at me. I have you."

My eyes must have given away my pain on his behalf for suddenly he's pressing his forehead to mine, whispering in what I vaguely register as Martian. The words escape me completely in my raw state. I need to feel him, to know I'm out of my head and in reality.

J'onn pulls me to his chest, his cape engulfing me as my eyes close, breathing in his scent till everything slowly fades into proper focus. The movement of his chest makes me notice the details around me once again.

Nothing seems different, his breathing is steady, his warmth makes itself known to my mind, my mind! It feels like a scrambled rubrik's cube.

There are whispers in the back of my head that have J'onn's voice in a language I don't recognize. Just as the thought floats across my mind, his thoughts translate into English.

The suddenly comprehensible thoughts calm my jumbled mind, helping me take into account where and what has changed.

'My mind is open to you now, reach for a memory of me and you can find me.'

How do I reply to his thoughts in my head?

'You just did.'

His joyous laughter echoes through my head making me smile physically. Feeling much better I gently pull back from being hidden in his chest to looking up at him.

He smiles for the first time with his teeth showing. It lights up his face and a stray thought flits through my head, here I am almost on the lap of an ancient and powerful alien telepath having just been linked into his mind and guided by the hand on handling my thoughts, I feel like a child.

J'onn presses an almost paternal kiss to my forehead, it conveys a sense of protection, shelter and affection.

"How do you feel?"

He can feel I feel, there's no need for him to ask me that but again when I focus on him I can feel his thoughts, he wants to help me snap from mental to verbal expressions without stumbling. There is a memory at the recesses of his mind which brush up as his thoughts explain this to me. A memory of a green skinned angular child, struggling to accept a mental link with him just like I am doing now.

J'onn seems instantly saddened by the memory.

"You miss them greatly."

I whisper to him, my hand touching his cheek gently. He closes his eyes at my touch. This is the first time I've touched him anywhere personal.

"Very much."

A mission of his comes to the forefront of my mind as J'onn subconsciously relieves a struggle under the temptation of a gold masked witch who offered him his planet in return for a stone. The memory is replaced by him crushing the stone and along with it his hopes of ever seeing his wife and daughter.

"J'onn... How can you live with such a weight in your heart? Do you not feel hopeless sometimes?"

My mind supplies him with the time I stared at my violent parents going all out at each other. How I felt worthless ad helpless, like there was no purpose of my being alive.

"Only if you believe it to be, is it so."

J'onn opens his eyes capturing my hand in his and lowering it to his chest. His words are backed by his thoughts gently guiding me through each attempt at the blade, each attempt at a permanent solution.

'Humanity has great capacity for hope, it is their strongest trait, it is also present in me and you.'

His thought sounds out in my head giving me hope as it were. Hope for tomorrow to be better, hope for more precious moments with J'onn and hope for his heartache to fade with time.

As these thoughts circle around in my head J'onn watches me quietly, occasionally sliding his fingers over my knuckles. His rough finger tips dragging across my skin, creating friction and heat. I curl back into his chest, my ear against the edge of his blue cape collar.

The Martian wraps his arm around my shoulder, draping his cape like a sheet over my neatly tucked body as he leans back against the tree behind him. Neither of us say anything, simply breathing and listening to the random thoughts crossing each others minds.

I must have dozed off in his embrace for when my eyes blink open darkness is setting in and J'onn is breathing much slower than usual. Perhaps he's asleep too? I stay still, not wanting to wake him and instead focus my thoughts on him to see if I can hear anything when he's asleep.

Sure enough he's asleep, the thoughts in his mind have no pattern and are all in Martian. Whatever I can decode hints at the comfort he feels having a warm body against his. Now that is something I can wholeheartedly agree with. Being able to read his mind, I know what he wants just as he realizes it so when J'onn dreams of me cuddling up to him, I am able to make his dream come true.

An appreciative hmm escapes his throat making his chest vibrate. His thoughts change pattern as he starts to wake, loosing their randomness and becoming more focused on my warmth, the cold air and his location.

"I thought your Martian physiology meant you didn't as much sleep as us humans."

"When a link is formed, the brain needs to rearrange its neurons. That's is why we both fell asleep. Tell me, how do you feel?"

Now that he mentions it I feel centered once more, no longer raw and edgy. We spend a while listening to our thoughts, J'onn encourages me to try to control the flow of information from him, as well as to try controlling what I let him see. Its many minutes later when I realize that I'm hungry and that I have snacks.

J'onn releases me to empty my bag of its edible content. I know from his thoughts he too is hungry and we quietly munch on sandwiches, tartlets and fruits. Its almost a picnic and I watch him enjoy different flavors.

"Have you tried tartlets before J'onn?"

"No. This is something new."

"Well you like milk and sweet flavors so I'm sure this will be a favorite."

"You have excellent taste in food."

I offer him the tartlets, feeling his thoughts burst into my mind as he instantly takes a liking to it.

'It was a given, you loves oreos.'

J'onn finishes it happily, his mind filing away tartlets for future consumption as I giggle at his cream covered mouth. I send him the picture of how he appears right now when he looks at my giggles in question.

Its a hilarious image, his green upper lip coated in whipping cream from the tartlet. Handing him a tissue I grin at his serene face not wanting this moment to die.

By the time we are done and ready to go night has once more settled in and J'onn escorts me to the car, his slight hesitation before getting in doesn't escape my notice and I'm reminded of last night and the electric tension between us.

'J'onn..'


	5. Chapter 5

This stoic, collected Martian almost looks ashamed as he makes no attempt at blocking his thoughts from me.

It takes my breath away when I feel how equally affected he was by the moment. His thoughts swirling in confusion as he's taken by surprise by his sudden attraction to me, a reaction he never expected from himself for someone who looks nothing like the females of his race and is much, much younger.

My thoughts follow a similar pattern now that I have insight to his mind. Biologically all species are engineered to find their own species attractive, it is a fundamental requirement for the survival of a species. Therefore J'onn's self actualization is very accurate and raises a very good question about myself as well. Why am I feeling the attraction I feel towards him when he's clearly different in almost all the aspects I'm used to?

He's huge, he's green, he's red eyed and much older than me, his mind a pool of complex emotions that don't faze him as much as the simpler turbulence in mine unhinges me.

J'onn backs me into the side of the car, his body looming over mine as his eyes glint dangerously in the low light. His human eyes.

"Do not put yourself down, you carry a great burden for one so young." His voice almost growls, his thoughts expressing his displeasure at my lack of self appreciation.

Unfortunately, while my mind recognizes the repressed anger in his voice, my body responds to his proximity and low voice in a very female manner.

I watch the recognition of what he invoked in me cross his eyes as he takes a step back, providing me with enough room to breathe without being overwhelmed by him.

I blink up at him like a deer caught in the headlights, my heart straining against my chest, his eyes gaze on flushed face. My attention is caught by the steady up and down of his broad chest, my body yearning to be firmly held in his arms.

J'onn must have decided something while my mind was thus occupied for he presses me back into the car, his arm snug around my waist letting me fulfill my sudden touch crave. His massive frame ensures that I'm completely surrounded, my ear over his heart. My body relaxes, molding to fit the planes and angles of his dense body. He gently rubs my back, his large fingers splayed over my back as their warmth seeps into me, slowly easing me back to look down at my face.

"Let's get in the car?"

J'onn gets the door for me. Once we are shut away from prying eyes he drops his disguise gracing me with his red eyes. I start the car for my 45 minute ride, this time no uncomfortable silence between us.

There is a thin line waiting to be crossed. Neither of us wanting to be the first to cross it. He's a widower and I'm an unattached young girl at the highlight of my youth. Its clear from his thoughts that he doesn't want to betray the memory of his wife and I'm certain he can read my hesitation as well.

'J'onn, being here with you means a lot to me. We both know we can fill the blanks for each other...'

'There will be time for that.' He interrupts my thoughts with his own.

His mind supplies me unwittingly with his desire to consume me. The memory far too repressed to be clear has an underlying voice to it that is distinctly female and I know I shouldn't drag that one up so I let it bounce through without drawing attention to it.

My eyes focus on the road ahead as he lets me hear his concerns and emotional turmoil.

"I have now spent many years on earth never expecting this moment." He turns to look at me as I glance over at him. "I can read what you want and how to give it but that is not what I wish for you."

"I understand what you mean J'onn."

"Yes you do, you have far too much experience for your years."

"You make it sound like a bad thing." I grin wryly at him.

"Perhaps it is a heavy truth." J'onn gently whispers it, his hand slowly tucking a few strands of my hair behind my ear. I lean into the touch, his warmth breaking my skin into goose flesh.

The rest of the drive home is spent in smiles and quiet thoughts, both of us reading things off each others minds instead of talking out loud. By the time I park the car and get out, J'onn places his hand on my shoulder, telling me to use the link if I need him before he presses another kiss to my forehead and steps back to be beamed to the watchtower.

At home everything is looking good, my sisters are back and entertaining themselves with the television. Mom has prepared dinner and dad is fast asleep. All in all, better than expected. I grab dinner and head for my room wanting to sleep a solid eight hours for once.

As I get ready for bed I wonder what J'onn is up to and I search for him in my mind. He appears to be in a conversation with a league member. Hmm better not disturb him, time to sleep.

For once I'm looking forward to sleeping and this time without tears, blades or guilt. Just as I feel myself falling into sleep, a baritone good night echoes in my mind.

The next morning I feel like a new person. Fresh, relaxed and happy. Searching for the Martian greets me with Martian words, conclusion: J'onn is asleep.

I hop, skip and dance my way through the day before my art knife catches my attention.

I carefully run the tip of my finger over the sharp edge, making sure to not cut myself for once. I can feel the gentle press of thoughts in my mind, meaning J'onn is awake, aware and concerned.

'I'm not going to do anything disastrous J'onn.'

'I am aware.'

'I feel oddly grateful to it, if it wasn't for that first night, I'd never have this.'

The Martian is silent as he looks through my mind while I carefully tuck the art knife into a drawer. We stay in touch throughout the day, each of us getting used to the other in our heads. Every time I listen to his thoughts, I'm pleased to see how much the link is doing for him. It appears that his fellow superheroes can't place the finger on why J'onn is looking much more relaxed this morning.

'Diana is observant, would it offend you if I discuss this with her?'

'J'onn, I assure you, I would be honored.'

I leave him to his talk, going to catch up on my college work. Halfway through the day J'onn urgently tells me he's going for a mission.

'Be careful while I'm gone, if you focus on me and I am in pain, you will feel it too. Let me contact you when I return.'

'J'onn! Be safe.'

Its way past midnight before J'onn contacts me again. Time that I spent heeding his words, I've watched enough movies to know how unwise it is to go against such commands. Almost always, it results in the man having to suffer unnecessary trouble caused by one headstrong woman who thinks she's going to make it easier for him when she's clearly inexperienced and has no plan whatsoever except to get caught by the villains.

That is one thing I am not going to do.

'Are you well?'

'Shouldn't I be asking you that J'onn? Are you injured?'

'No. It was an easy mission. Why are you still awake?'

'I was worried..'

'You shouldn't have been, you need rest, it will be a few days before your body adjusts to the mental demand.'

'Oh... That explains why I slept a solid eight hours.'

'Indeed, you need to rest.'

'What about you?'

'My people lived with the Great Voice from an early age, what is new to you is normal to me. Now rest or your headache in the morning will be worse.'

My mind must've indicated how confused I was for J'onn gently hushes me and guides me to sleep.

The next morning J'onn's prediction was proved correct, I woke up with a massive headache. My temples pounding in protest as I sit up, feeling oddly disoriented.

'Good morning.'

'J'onn... Don't...'

'I did warn you. You need sleep, eat and spend the day in bed. It will only be worse if you do not rest.'

His voice carries a hint of pained amusement, the memory of his daughter as she underwent almost exactly what I am undergoing now brushes into his mind.

'J'onn..'

'Hush little one, sleep. I will be watching over you.'

When I awake once more, its well past mid day and my headache is gone. I inform J'onn as I devour lunch with new gusto.

'Feeling better?'

'Yes. How about you?'

He fills my head with an image of strawberry tartlets held on a white plate.

'I have acquired a treat.'

I can't help the laughter in my head. This stoic, grave faced alien holding up sweets like a child.

'It was you who introduced me to these wonders,' he mock complains. 'Flash has been giving me the odd look ever since I bit into it.'

I choke on my lunch as I remember how this large green alien got cream on his lip when he bit into the tartlet. I proceed to remind him of just that. It is a few minutes before he replies.

'I fear you were correct.'

The remainder of the day was spent with me catching up on sleep and telepathically talking to J'onn or listening to his thoughts. By the time night rolled in, we bid each other good night before sleeping. Sleep was fast becoming very important.

And thus began our new routine, J'onn telepathically communicates with me whenever he is free and I'm not distracted, I do the same, giving him privacy whenever he's occupied with any Justice League business. This followed for a week until three days ago, he has been silent ever since. He gave me the same warning to stay away from actively searching for him and bid me to stay safe but I haven't heard from him since.

I've been turning the thoughts over and over whether I should disobey him purely for my peace of mind or if I should keep faith. In the end, the pain of not knowing wins and I close my eyes to focus on J'onn.

For the first time, hearing his thoughts are difficult, I can barely hear him as he's busy struggling to think. My body runs cold in fear. J'onn is in serious trouble. The next minute, pain shoots through my body and I collapse onto the floor, the strength in my body being sapped away.

I wake up an hour later to find myself still sprawled ungracefully on the floor with a massive headache. Damn it. Time to sleep some more. But sleep doesn't embrace me, the pain I felt keeps making me toss and turn, worrying about J'onn, knowing he's in pain.

Eventually I must've fallen asleep as the morning sunlight wakes me up. On instinct I reach out for J'onn, his mind finally a mess of Martian thoughts indicating sleep, rather than pain. I badly want to see him with my own eyes just to reassure myself that he's fine. I wander about the house with half a mind on autopilot while the other keeps tabs on J'onn. Its hard to follow his thoughts when they are in Martian, the words not translating into anything discernable but the images in his head help to put together what happened as he relives it in what I figure is a nightmare.

There's not much I can do to ease his nightmares besides waking him up. The gift of telepathy and mind tricks belongs entirely to J'onn. So doing the next logical thing I call out in my mind for him, trying to rouse him into consciousness as gently as possible.

'J'onn, wake up. You're dreaming.'

'J'onn.'

'Come on J'onn, its me. Wake up.'

His thoughts slowly focus as sleep fades away, his mind disoriented and hazy.

'J'onn?'

'I apologize.' That's the first thing out of his mind. 'Did I frighten you?'

'No. Can I see you today? Teleport to my house?'

Today being a Friday, the day the house is all mine till Monday. My mom and sisters always go to visit my mother's relatives for the weekends and my father doesn't turn up till Monday. In other words the house is all mine for two whole days and tonight.

'I will be there in an hour.'

I scramble into the kitchen to fix dinner for J'onn and me. Hmm what to make? Somehow he strikes me as a vegetarian, now then Thick Vegetable soup and croutons would suit the night well. The strawberry pie I made with my sisters should do for dessert.

I dance through the house, straightening things up and making dinner. J'onn beams into the living room just as I finish heating up the pie.

He looks exhausted even though he maintains his dominating posture. There are dark green marks on his skin that look painful, red eyes lack their usual calm, his entire face expressing pain. Rushing over I guide him to the sofa.

"J'onn, you look terrible. Can I get you anything? Sit down!"

"I am fine."

"Totally not believing you."

I fetch him a glass of water and a few painkillers should he need them, although I'm not sure if they're compatible with his Martian biology.

I gently touch his arm, catching his wandering focus as I offer him the glass of water and inspecting his appearance closely as he drinks. There are cuts on his skin, a few grazes on his face where he probably took a few solid punches. Whatever is not an open cut is already healing, his impressive regeneration abilities kicking in.

"J'onn, lie down for me?"

"What?" he sounds rightfully confused.

Taking the glass from him, I guide him to lay down, running my hand over his chest to part his cape. The cuts haven't been cleaned so I'm certain J'onn just handled formalities before arriving here.

He must be unusualy tired for he doesn't notice me leaving his side, nor does he notice when I return with a basin of hot water and clean towels but his eyes fly open and his baritone voice growls in warning as I press the warm cloth to his cuts. His hand unconsciously holding my wrist in a near painful grip.

"J'onn?"

"I apologize," he releases my hand as if burnt. "You need not do that. They will heal."

I ignore him and continue to clean out the cuts on his chest, watching as they slowly start to close. His arm falls across my lap, watching me with hazy eyes as I settle down near his waist on the sofa. His angular face comes next and for once I cup his jaw, gently turning his face to tend to the open bruises and wipe down his face.

The water takes on an odd tinge of red from his blood as I run the damp towel down his arms and chest. His hand curls around my wrist once I'm done.

"Thank you."

My heart wrenches in pained sympathy and I press a gentle kiss to his cheek.

'Rest.'

I throw the blanket which is across the back of my sofa over J'onn, tucking him in as he falls into a healing sleep. The wounds loosing their raw edges, the cuts closing as I watch. Unable to resist I press a kiss to his sloped forehead and leave him to rest.

Throwing the towels into the washer and emptying the red tinged water in the basin, I'm struck by how badly J'onn must've been hurt for his healing to still not have completed.

I leave the door ajar so that I can hear J'onn if he calls out for me and proceed to have a soak in the tub, figuring he might be out like a light for awhile. Focusing on his thoughts surprises me. For his mind is blank for once. No thoughts in Martian or English. So this is the Martian healing sleep.

When I step out of the tub, smelling of ylang ylang flowers, my reflection catches my attention. I look beautiful and relaxed, my raven black hair twisted over my shoulder, my brown eyes filled with contentment and my skin no longer looking grey.

J'onn shifts in the living room, the sofa creaking under his large body. Quickly changing into a white t shirt and shorts I half dry my hair, letting it sort itself out as usual.

He is blinking awake as I walk into the living room, his color improved and movements natural once more. I settle down next to him, squeezing his hand in both of mine, inexplicably happy to see him looking better. His free hand touches the still wet strands of my hair, running his fingers through it curiously.

"It is fascinating how it absorbs water isn't it?" I ask him when he's still marveling at they way my hair clings to his fingers.

J'onn smiles at me. My only excuse is that I had been worried, his silence, his pain and his presence here now overwhelmed me. That's the only reason I can think of which caused tears to well up in my eyes at his smile.

"I'm sorry J'onn but I was worried and I tried to locate you but you were in so much pain and I collapsed and I was so worried but you're here and-"

He cups my face his forehead pressed to mine. "Hush, don't cry. I am fine."

My arms wrap around his neck, trying to pull him to my body but he releases me and presses a kiss to my forehead.

"I will stain your white shirt, permit me to use your bathroom and I give you my word, you can hold onto me till you feel better."

Smiling at his words I show him the bathroom, leaving a towel for him as I head to the kitchen knowing he'll be hungry once he's showered. The soup gets reheated while I set out bowls and spoons for us. The crotons piled onto a plate sit neatly between the two plates on the kitchen island.

The pie, I hide under a lid wondering idly if the Manhunter has x ray vision. Laughing at myself I straighten up the sofa and turn on the radio to chase away the silence while J'onn showers.

He emerges looking much better and walks up to me, his arms slipping around my shoulders and waist. I melt against him, squeezing him as tightly as possible although his density resists the pressure I exert. He smells wonderful, the rain and spice scent unhindered by the wear of the day. Being as short as I am compared to J'onn, I'm unable to press my face to his neck so I immediately curl my arms around his shoulders, pulling him down as he noses against my hair breathing in the therapeutic scent of ylang ylang flowers.

"Shall we eat? I know you're hungry after all that healing."

J'onn hums his acquiescence as I release him, both of us settling down for dinner. A comfortable silence embraces us, the radio providing the perfect background noise.

"I have a treat for you."

"A tartlet?" he sounds so hopeful.

"Something better J'onn." I uncover the strawberry pie. "Ta-da!"

The alien red eyes widen and his thoughts betray his eagerness to try whatever I recommend. Smiling at his face, I serve him a giant portion, watching his face as he blissfully digs into it.

One thing I learnt after all this time with J'onn is, Martians don't wear their hearts on their sleeves. It is difficult to discern expressions on his stoic face unless one pays attention to the subtle nuances. Right now the light in his red eyes, the subtle upturn of his mouth give away his happiness and pleasure.

J'onn savors the pie, happy thoughts bursting into my mind as he bites into the sweet filling. I try to memorize this moment. A giant green alien, a tiny silver spoon in his hands and a nearly finished strawberry pie. He catches my eye as I stare at him, tenderness welling inside my chest for this lonely Martian.

Dinner done, I place all the dishes into the sink, J'onn insisting on helping me clean gets dinnerware drying duty. Its serenely domestic, having dinner, cleaning up with the radio in the background playing soft instrumentals and gently brushing each others fingers as we pass plates.

"Would you like to sleep? You must be needing sleep." I ask as I place the cutlery in their drawers.

"Rest would be welcome."

"Come on then, you're having my room for the night."

"Where will you sleep?"

"My sisters' room, don't you worry. Come on."

I tug him to my room, getting out a fresh blanket and placing a glass of water on the bedside table.

"Call me if you need anything, I'll be right across from you." I point out to the connecting door that opens to my sister's room.

He gives my shoulder a squeeze in thanks, I smile up at him and head to my room for the night, turning to bid him good night as he turns the covers.

Sleep doesn't find me. Knowing J'onn is just ten steps and a door away, keep me awake for hours. I know he's fast asleep because his thoughts have been in Martian for the past hour. My mind tracks his thoughts lazily, trying to get the randomness to lull me to sleep.

I'm almost asleep when my telepath starts dreaming. His mind filling with images instead of words. Its shocks me as I watch him relive the pain of his battle quickly replaced by images of me carefully cleaning the cuts on his chest, my hand cupping his face and the slight impression of hug.

Watching myself from another's view is disconcerting. Seeing the look of pain on my face, the tremble of my hands when I freeze as his body tenses. Its like watching a movie of me but through it all, J'onn's emotions are what captivate me. The tenderness in his heart and gratitude as he stills my hands, fill me with happiness as I fall asleep.

Saturday morning yanks me out of bed when I hear J'onn in the living room. The distinct sound of glassware giving away his location.

'J'onn?'

'I did not mean to wake you.'

'No worries, I'll join you in a few minutes.'

Brushing up for the day, I change out of my sleep clothes already thinking of breakfast only to be surprised by the green alien expertly preparing tea in my kitchen. Two plates of toast sitting on the counter.

"J'onn you didn't have to." I whisper, touched by his thoughtfulness.

He smiles at me, his eyes glowing in the golden sunlight. I pull his head down to press a kiss to his cheek. 'Thank you.'

J'onn strokes his thumb over my temple. I give him a grin before helping him with breakfast. Jam, butter, cheese and milk are quickly settled on the counter followed by us. Tea in hand I lead him to my bedroom, the window there gives the best view of the outside world in the morning light.

I sit down on my bed, watching the light bathe the room in gold. J'onn places his cup on the side table, his eyes travelling to each painting hanging on the walls as he touches the canvases. Looking at him, so graceful and unharmed I'm reminded about last night at when I tried to contact him.

"J'onn I wanted to ask you, what happened on your mission? I was looking for you before you contacted me and I passed out from the pain you were under."

"What?"

He freezes at my words, setting on the edge of the bed, his hands quickly framing my face. His eyes glow orange as he prods my mind but this doesn't feel the same. Its like he's assessing for damage instead of reading my thoughts, testing each pathway in my brain to see if they're in working order. At length he releases my face looking relieved but stern.

"I warned you not to search for me, you could have done serious harm to yourself."

At a loss how to respond, I cautiously watch him, not knowing what to say to defuse the edge in his voice. J'onn tilts my chin up to face him, his eyes softening at my wounded expression. He runs his fingers into my hair, tilting my head to press an apologetic kiss to my brow.

'I do not want you hurt. Especially because of me. Forgive my tone but you could have suffered nerve damage little one.'

'I'm sorry but the silence worried me.'

"I know." he combs my hair with his fingers, watching me as I stare up. "We were thrown back in time, Vandal Savage and his men were lending modern technology to the enemy, I was captured when I went to spy on the facility. His interrogator had some impressive techniques.."

I press my face into the side of his neck, arms tightly locked around him. I've seen enough torture videos to know what happened without having to look through his memories. I know I won't survive those and I also know he won't allow me to access them.

I breathe in his calming scent, allowing myself to nuzzle into his neck, my lips accidently brushing against his throat. J'onn stills. His arm locked at my waist before he growls under his breath, vibrations escaping his chest to mine. My body responds to him without thought, heat flooding my skin as his masculinity asserts itself.

He draws back to look at my flushed face. My thoughts scream in my head, wanting his mouth on mine but J'onn untangles himself from me.

"J'onn?"

He presses his finger against my lips.

"Not like this." he whispers. "Know me."

His mind guides me through his culture, through the meaning behind each kiss, each touch he places on me. Things I never explored about him are brought to light as he shows me who he is as a male and not just who he is in general. He is a calm, collected voice of reason who is sane in the face of mind numbing loss. But under all that he's a male, a dominant, passionate male that ravages his female just as much as he tenderly cares for her.

His thoughts turn to his wife and he withdraws from my mind. I give his hand a firm squeeze and leave him to his thoughts, knowing he needs moment alone to think of the feelings he has for me.

I tend to the garden, watch the news and debate making tea when J'onn walks briskly to me. His face grim. A quick look into his mind shows Diana calling him for an emergency.

'I know J'onn, go.'

"I will be back soon." he promises me with a kiss to my head before he is teleported to wherever he is needed.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The first lemon.

Sighing at the turn of events, I dejectedly make tea.

I know I can't be angry, all his thoughts and conflicts were open to me. He never hid what he felt regarding his wife. The blame lies with me if no one else for my strong reaction to his predatory stare and deep growls.

I know J'onn is attracted to me but his maturity and experience enable him to control his reactions till he gives almost nothing away physically while my inexperience sets my body aflame under him.

The day progresses monotonously as I fix myself lunch and stare at the same word in my book for over twenty minutes, not having a clue about what I read. Suffice it to say I'm distracted. I know better than to read his mind when he's on a mission both out of fear of distracting him and of him reprimanding me for any damage I might sustain.

Nightfall is not welcome as the sun sets around me and J'onn is yet to return. I order pizza out of sheer boredom while popping bubbles in the bathwater, fingers lazily swirling the foam.

Wrapping my hair in a towel I slip into my night dress, donning my navy blue dressing gown over it as the bell rings for my pizza.

Paying the delivery boy I plop down on the couch, flicking on the tv to a nature documentary. Halfway through the pizza, tiredness sets in and I clear up for the night heading to bed, hoping J'onn is safe as I hang up the dressing gown and let down my hair.

My bed smells like fresh rain and spices, J'onn's scent surrounding me calms my mind. Before I know it, my face buries itself in the pillow the Martian used last night as I fall asleep.

Sometime in the night the soft sound of footsteps penetrate my sleep and a heavy hand falls onto my shoulder, gently rubbing my back. The bed dips at my waist as the hand brushes up my neck, moving my hair out of my face. A firm press of lips pull me out of my sleep just as J'onn pulls away. My arm shoots out to grip his hand.

'Stay.'

J'onn sits back down on the bed, his cape, red cross and boots dematerializing as he slips under the covers pulling me to his chest.

His warmth pulls a whimper from my lips just as his arm settles comfortably across my waist. The steady rise and fall of his breathing brushes his bare chest against my back, the silk of my night dress teasing my skin which is coming alive in his proximity. J'onn presses a kiss to the back of my neck his mind whispering apologies.

'You don't have to apologize, I know what you're dealing with.'

"Look at me." he requests softly, his voice in the quiet night sending shivers through my body.

I turn to face him, knowing we already crossed the line the minute he climbed into my bed.

"I was at a social gathering with the founding members tonight and Diana forced me to realize something."

J'onn wraps his arms around me, pulling me flush to his chest, my body barely half the width of his. He cards his fingers through my hair as he continues his thoughts.

"She told me I was living in the past when I had already been blessed with a future. I realized she was correct when I saw you sleeping." he traces my eyes, his thumb brushing over my lip. "You look so fragile, your mind uneasy, full of self blame. It was not my intention to hurt you."

"J'onn," I'm silenced by his finger coming close to my mouth.

"J'onn.." I breathe out to him.

His fingers fold under my chin, gently turning my face up to meet his. His thumb runs slowly over my bottom lip making it tingle as my body becomes overly sensitive. The tremble in my body causes his free hand to splay at my lower back. The heat making me arch up, my lips parting under his finger.

J'onn's red eyes darken, his body demanding I yield to him. It must be a Martian biological behavior but being human doesn't make me immune to it. I catch a memory of his which I unwittingly recreate.

I turn my face slightly to the left, baring the long column of my neck to him.

The reaction in instantaneous.

J'onn J'onzz, breath flying in sharply, tightens his fingers at my waist and attacks my neck.

I let out a keening whimper, hands clutching at his biceps as he zeroes in on my weak spot, his teeth worrying the skin while his tongue runs soothingly over it. Like all things with J'onn, its dizzyingly too much.

He releases my neck memorizing the wrecked sound leaving my throat as he firmly turns my head in the opposite direction. Knowing what's coming doesn't prepare me in the least as he once again latches onto my neck.

My body surrenders to him without my conscious effort and J'onn seems to notice instantly. He doesn't pause as he guides me beneath his large frame, effectively pinning me down.

I whimper under him, every sensation bordering on the wrong side of too much even though all he's done so far is tease my throat and cover me.

'J'onn!'

J'onn slows his ravaging, his touch changing till it soothes me more than it arouses me. His arm props him over my head, the fingers of his free hand gently grazing my lips, his thoughts clear as he works out the mechanics of kissing.

I don't even want to take control of this situation, the sheer amount of overwhelming sensation he has created by sucking on my neck is enough indication that the Martian Manhunter is far more experienced than I'd imagine.

"Yield to me."

I can barely recognize his voice! The husky tone nearly undoes me just as his fingers settle at the back of my head, his thumb gently forcing my chin up.

He descends on my mouth as my eyes close. The soft press of his lips feels tentative before my lips part under his and my thoughts frizzle out as he invades all of my senses. I moan into his mouth. He tastes like he smells, fresh rain.

J'onn groans as he slips his tongue into my mouth, twisting it to rub against my own. Its like being a virgin again, lost under the assault of a man, unsure how to reciprocate.

My hands tug on his neck and I slip my tongue into his mouth, eager to suck on his tongue.

His hand travels down the side of my body, slipping under my nightdress to touch my bare thigh. His touch electrifies me and I find myself whimpering uncontrollably as he silences my moans by sucking in my tongue. My body is writhing under his unmovable bulk, demanding friction where the heat is most in me.

J'onn releases my mouth, pulling back enough to pull my dress over my head, his eyes taking me in while my fingers touch his chest as he leans back.

His chest is part of him I find myself often pulled against and the density of his muscles will always amaze me as I trace the contours along the well defined clavicles, pectorals and the valleys between each muscle in his stomach.

J'onn leans forward and kisses me before he sits back on his knees. He coaxes my thighs apart across his waist, his width making it almost uncomfortable. The material of his shorts rubbing against me offer the barest of relief as he leans over me once more, his mouth working its way down my ear, past my neck upon which he once more nips and licks till I'm writhing furiously. My fists lock in the sheets as tears gather in my eyes. I need friction.

J'onn pays no heed to my thoughts, he simply runs both his hands over my stomach, gliding up to cup my breasts, a forefinger and thumb gently pinching each nipple just as he bites down on my neck.

"J'onn!"

My release catches me by surprise, every muscle locking down as I reach my peak without ever having been touched at my most intimate of places.

J'onn's grinning face greets me as I touch down from my high, my body screaming for something to contract on instead of empty space inside me.

"J'onn..."

"Hush. I know." he proceeds to show exactly how well he knows by rubbing his fingers over the wetness of my underwear, providing me with the first actual friction for the night, I can't help moving against his hand, needing any part of him inside to ease the empty clenching.

J'onn pulls my panties down my legs, his pants dematerialized somewhere along the way. Before I can get a good look at him, he pushes my thighs apart, his eyes turning the darkest shade of red I've ever seen. It reasserts his dominance as he looms over me, carefully guiding his tip against me. He feels huge and if the rest of him is any indication then he's definitely huge.

A calming kiss is pressed to my forehead, his hands gripping mine as an anchor.

'Look at me.'

My eyes lock onto his darkened ones, arousal and slight apprehension making me tense under him. J'onn nuzzles against my jaw, his body poised to penetrate me.

"You are too tense," he kisses me gently. "Breathe."

Breathing out, I melt under him, ready to let him claim me. J'onn presses a kiss to my throat, even the barest press enough to remind me of what exactly it is that he can do.

One of his hands run down my body to press against my bundle of nerves, I arch wildly against the bed as he works me there, low rumbles escaping his chest as he pins both my wrists under one large hand. His thighs force mine further apart and I'm left helpless under his assault on my senses.

He gently slips one large finger inside me, my muscles clench down gratefully, glad to have anything to contract against. J'onn groans in my ear, slowly working a second finger as my breath hitches at the stretch.

His mind is a mess of sensations and focusing on it dizzies me with want, I twist my hips against his fingers, mentally pleading for him to complete this.

J'onn releases my wrists to hold my hips steady before slowly thrusting in in one smooth stroke. My body screams in protest at his size, muscles straining to accommodate his alien girth. He locks my body under his, not giving me room to move as he holds me down, his voice commanding me to relax.

As I keen under him he rubs his hand soothingly along my sides, eyes loosing the dark red shade for the first time since we began. He cups my face in his hands.

'Focus on me.'

'Kind of hard not to when you're pulsing inside me.'

He lets out a laugh, his hand brushing my hair back to press another tender kiss to my forehead just before he moves his hips. The delicious friction and the slow burn make me dig my fingers into his shoulders, throwing my head back on a mewl.

He starts to withdraw and push back into me, slow steady thrusts making me feel the entire length of him as it rubs against me. By the third such thrust my body has adjusted to his and is begging for a harder pace. J'onn must've been listening to my thoughts during this entire time he's been driving me wild, for no sooner has the thought crossed before he slams into me with enough force to knock my breath out.

He picks his pace, keeping his thrusts well paced as I writhe and arch against the bed. My fingers wildly roam his body, dragging my nails down his back. His pace falters with a growl and he pulls my face into the crook of his neck, arms holding me tightly.

After all the torture he bestowed on my neck, I can't resist giving a gentle bite to his conveniently located throat.

J'onn hisses harshly his body going rigid before he pulls back and roughly tilts my head to the left going straight for my neck. In under a minute the Martian has me screaming his name as I climax around him, finally clenching on his hard length in relief. He freezes over me as he lets out a reverberating groan, releasing into me. He doesn't collapse on me, instead his nearly black eyes focus on me as they fade back to the normal shade of red I'm used to.

Pressing a kiss to my hair he pulls me across his chest, covering me with the blanket. I settle tiredly on him, my body unbelievably sore, feeling like I underwent the workout of a lifetime merely from all the straining under him.

J'onn rubs long soothing strokes along my back till I feel myself falling asleep, surrounded by his tranquil embrace.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Waking up is met with more smexy times.

Warm golden light dances behind my eyelids, disturbing the peaceful darkness of my sleep. Grumbling under my breath I turn over to spite the wake up call and my face comes in contact with a naked, green chest. That's when the warmth at my waist registers in my fuzzy half awake mind. 

J'onn is fast asleep on his side, facing me with his arm firmly holding me in place. No wonder I haven't deviated much from where I fell asleep. Otherwise I wouldn't be surprised if I were half under the bed. 

He makes a soft noise, squeezing my waist to him, his face pressing into my splayed out hair. He's so peaceful and warm. The golden sunlight making his skin glow, defining every plane of his chest and the muscles along his arm draped over me. His chest has become my second favorite part of him, it's like my security blanket. Instantly making me feel safe when I'm held against it. But what I love the most about J'onn will always be his red eyes. 

His arm flexes as he groans, the red eyes I was thinking about, blinking open. The black lining around his eyes make the red stand out as it catches the sunlight and sparkles at me with orange highlights.

"Good morning." 

He smiles at me, taking in the scene he's woken up to. I can hear his thoughts rearranging themselves into actual words before he presses his face into my neck, whispering a soft good morning against it. 

Shivers break out and J'onn J'onzz laughs! Actually laughs into my neck, pressing his lips to the sensitive skin. His husky laughter does unusual things to my body and I press up against his solid chest, thoroughly enjoying the unresisting push of his muscles on my much softer ones. 

My fingers start a journey of their own while my eyes occupy themselves with catching every change in expression on J'onn's face. His impassive face requires much study to pick out any hint of his emotions but after so much time spent staring at his face I've achieved the level of expert in face reading Martians. Plus the mental link gives me unfair advantage over any other competitors. 

His eyes are still alight, his face carefully neutral while his mind is amused with my thoughts. Ooh he's planning to make this difficult for me now is he? We'll see!

I glide my fingers up his arm, pausing to caress over the bulging curve of his bicep then trace my fingers across his clavicle to the dip at the base of his neck. 

His face remains stoic but his eyes! They have lost their light, the red starting to darken. 

I trace my fingers down the center of his chest, noting the absence of nipples along with a random thought about his sensitivity. Pressing my lips to his chest I look up at him in a calculated play of light and angles. 

J'onn growls at me, a quiet thought of surprise flying through his head. 

As an artist I have excellent knowledge about shadows so when I look up from under my eyelashes, the sunlight behind me throws my eyes into darkness, my eyebrows acting much the same way as his black lining under his brow. The shadows around my eyes complete the imitation of Martian eyes as my brown eyes meet his blackening ones. Brown being a subset color of red is enough to trick his subconscious.

His hand covers my neck gently, "Be careful what you do," his strained voice sends flutters into my stomach. "I might not be able to hold back if you play me like that."

The temptation is far too great and I go in for the kill. 

Pulling my hair back into a knot, I look up at J'onn making sure to create the illusion of Martian eyes while running my fingers down his back. Just as he moves his hand to catch my elbow I dart forward and latch onto his throat, teeth dragging along the Martian weak point. 

J'onn just about roars, his hands gripping my body tighter than usual to the point of pain. I can feel his hands branding into my waist and shoulder, keeping me in place as his mind dissolves into Martian words. 

While his thoughts make no sense to me, I know victory when I see it and this is the beginning taste of victory.

J'onn J'onzz caught unaware, assaulted by both physical and mental sensations while his heart is attacked by familiarity lets out a threatening growl.

Not letting up on him, I trace my tongue along his throat. Gentle swirls followed by a sharp nip of teeth, the points of my nails scratching three short lines into his waist. 

A green hand tightly holds the back of my neck, pulling me away from his throat where my teeth have barely marked him. J'onn's eyes look deadly. The red nowhere to be found. His face is no longer impassive, every line on his face screams agonizing want but his mind is requesting something from mine. A question in Martian. While the words make no sense to me, I know there's only one thing he could possibly think of asking me at a moment like this so being the wonderful illusionist I am, I meet his eyes maintaining the low angle and tilt my face to the pillow, neck bared for him. 

J'onn flows over me. That's the only word that can describe what he does. His teeth at my neck, his body is wrapped around me, his hands enclosing my back, his legs intertwined with mine. It feels like he's trying to encompass me in himself. The mental feedback of his stimulation results in me being equally stimulated, the press of his skin and his teeth at my neck enough to undo me. 

I must've successfully given him enough feedback as well for J'onn floods my mind with a complex emotional release. 

Its unlike what I have ever experienced. The closest description coming to mind is transferring all the data from a badly partitioned computer hard drive to an external source and formatting the computer only to copy the transferred data back into the computer but this time in better order and method. 

My mind doesn't feel much different after it though. While J'onn has clearly relaxed, lost all the hard lines of tension on his body and is coming down from a different kind of release, my mind is coming down from a regular orgasmic high far too intense for something the result of no physical stimulation. 

J'onn untangles himself slowly, momentarily loosing his half human appearance to an angular, elongated and tapered form. Its gone before I can question it. 

Then again given his state I can't bring myself to question him. He looks thoroughly debauched for once. His head resting over my heart, arms trembling in their tight circle around my waist. His mind is still working in Martian so I do the only thing I can do to bring him comfort. 

My hands gently cup his head and his arm. My fingers tenderly stroke along the back of his head while my hand rubs his arm, squeezing him as hard as possible knowing my strength will not be enough to hurt him. His body calms in its desperate hold on me and I caress along his sharp cheekbones and square jaw to pull his head back enough to press a kiss to the heavy brow of the alien laying on my chest. 

'J'onn..' 

His arms squeeze me tightly before releasing me enough to turn onto his back, an arm thrown over his eyes. 

'Come on J'onn. Look at me.'

I gently tug his arm away from his face, sitting up to shadow over his face for once. Pressing a kiss to his knuckles I wait patiently for him to open his eyes. I almost wish I hadn't asked him to look at me. Regretful red eyes meet mine, pain laced around the edges. 

"J'onn.." my free hand cups his cheek before he can turn away, softly whispering. "What's wrong?"

His hand traces my shoulder, the skin feels tender and I'm pretty sure a bruise is blooming in the shape of his hand.

"I have hurt you when you have given me nothing but pleasure I have not experienced in centuries." 

Even his usually honeyed voice is carrying pain, tears spring into my eyes much to J'onn's dismay. Before he can say anything more I press my lips to his half opened mouth, kissing him with desperate relief. 

I was so worried I'd opened up some wound in his heart unintentionally when I played him into loosing control that to hear he's only upset because of his uncontrolled strength is the biggest blessing I have ever received.

J'onn rolls me under him, gentling my desperation, swallowing the little cries and whimpers escaping me. His hand carefully cupping the back of my head to angle me better.

"You had me worried J'onn, I thought I had hurt you."

"Unfortunately only I have hurt you." 

"J'onn, I barely feel it. And I definitely don't hold you against it. I daresay I might even like it." 

I give him a bright smile, letting the sunlight fall down upon my face to eliminate any shadows this time. 

J'onn tugs my hair free of it's knot as he pushes himself onto an elbow over me. The fingers of his free hand spread into my hair while his thumb brushes over my eyebrow and temple in slow strokes, his eyes back to their normal red hue. 

"Thank you." He presses a kiss to my forehead before he sits up, releasing me from under him.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another smexy chapter.

I sit up after him, wrapping the cover around myself. Tracing his face with my eyes I can see the change in him. He doesn't look as stern as he usually does, the crease over his brow is less pronounced and his shoulders are no longer tensed as if carrying the weight of the world.

He materializes his uniform over himself as he stands. My envious thoughts about how much fashion potential is at his mind's command fills the room with his laughter as I stumble into the bathroom. 

Good lord. No wonder J'onn looked upset. I have large bruises in the shape of his hand over both my shoulders where he clutched me and a large hand print at my waist. My neck bearing the red print of his teeth. 

After going through my morning routine, J'onn interrupts with an ice pack while I'm looking for my t shirt and shorts, his face an apologetic mask. 

"J'onn don't. It's fine really." I reach up to touch his downturned face, he intercepts my hand pressing my palm onto his chest. 

"I have no wish to harm you." 

"You didn't." I cave at his pointed look. "Ok yes you forgot your own strength but J'onn, I pushed you. I know what you're capable of and I know what I did, so don't." 

I press a kiss to his jaw, the only part of him I can reach without his help. I decide to give into him. 

"You can press the ice on me J'onn. I definitely can't reach that far behind my shoulders."

He sits me down, the ice pack soothing the bruises as I cuddle up against his side. His arm across my back rubbing slow circles as I contently focus on his thoughts. 

Finally they are in English! 

His mind is centered, thoughts untangled as they let me roam. He is blissful except for the pain of what he's done lingering at the back of his head. I think back to when he was loosing control, inviting J'onn to hear my thoughts so that I may ease his guilt once and for all. 

His hands move the ice pack to my waist, cooling the print there while he goes through my head. My stomach grumbles for breakfast, breaking us out of our thoughts. 

"I hate how you don't get hungry as much as me." I whine into his chest. 

J'onn laughs as he pulls my head back to press the ice to my throat. 

"One day on Mars is 25 Earth hours. My Martian physiology is adapted to eating by those hours." 

"Huh. That explains your lifespan too. The orbit is bigger so the year is longer. No wonder you live for a long time according to earth."

"Yes, 687 days for one year."

"Wow. Do you celebrate the new year?"

"When you live as long as I do a new year does not hold much significance. Come." J'onn helps me to my feet and we head to the kitchen.

"What would you like to have for breakfast?" I ask sticking my head into the fridge for ingredients.

"Whatever you wish me to try. I enjoy your cooking." 

J'onn reaches over me to store the ice pack back into the freezer and I take the opportunity to hand him a carton of milk, an orange and a packet of blueberries. 

"Put them on the counter J'onn, I know I haven't introduced you to meat yet but I feel like it wouldn't agree with you. But lets try egg and see if you like it."

"On Mars we did not have animals for food or otherwise." 

"Hmm.. Does that mean you are not biologically equipped to digest animal proteins? Have you tried it before?"

"There are large varieties of food in the watchtower, I have tried a few, so far nothing has adversely affected me." 

"That's good enough for me." I give him a smile as I busy myself pulling out bread and bowls. 

J'onn watches me as I crack eggs into the bowl. His fingers reaching out to touch the yolk before I smack it way.

"No touching J'onn. Here squeeze the orange juice out." 

I hand him the orange and let him handle the rest. J'onn has decent skills in the kitchen proven by the breakfast he made me last time but I doubt he's ever made French toast. 

By the time the toast is done, I pull out the whipping cream and stack a plate, spraying the whipping cream on top followed by blue berries. J'onn watches the meal come together with wonder. His green finger poking into the soft cream before I can smack it away. 

"J'onn!!" 

He grins at me as he tastes it. His finger in his mouth, smiling around it like a child. I burst out laughing at him. 

"Come here you founding member of the Justice League." 

I beckon him to sit down and hold the whipping cream can over his mouth. He opens it expectantly and I spray a mouthful in, laughing at his happy face.

I fix up two cups of English breakfast tea while J'onn happily hums eyeing the whipping cream can. 

Breakfast is a delight as J'onn enjoys the sweetness of whipped cream and blue berries with the crunchiness of French toast. Even if he doesn't need as many meals as I do, it doesn't prevent him from eating but I noticed he's reduced the amount he takes in to accommodate for my constant feeding.

I plan to make the most of this day as I clear up breakfast with J'onn. The happy Martian eyes me like he eyed the whipping cream can. 

It appears that years of celibacy being broken has resulted in an awakened libido. I guess I had put him on a pedestal. His manner of speaking, his air of control and calmness making him feel miles above me but looking at him now he's suddenly touchable. 

After spending hours tangled with him, being consumed by his passions, his emotions and watching him let go, he now feels reachable. J'onn suddenly pulls me onto his lap as he sits on the sofa. His face stern as he follows my thoughts. 

'I am never far from your reach little one.' 

He wills away his cape, boots and the red cross and places my palm on his chest letting me feel his heart beat. 

'There are no boundaries between us. Ask.' 

I meet his eyes, knowing exactly what I want from him. I want to be under him, consumed by the flames of passion, lost in dark red eyes forcing my submission to his desire. 

There is something liberating in being taken by him. The submission he demands doesn't degrade me or make me feel any less. If anything it makes me feel more, empowering my femininity as he fullfills my cravings, pushing my limits of pleasure as he gauges exactly how much I can take. 

I know for certain that I would never trust any male to have his way with me the way I trust J'onn. Previous experiences make themselves known in my mind as I remember the last time I was with my ex boyfriend and how terribly wrong it went.

"J'onn.. Take me." 

J'onn carries me like an 18th century princess, his arms around my back and under my knees, my weight insubstantial to him. I had expected him to ravage me on the sofa but he surprises me by carrying me off to my bed. He draws the curtains and plunges the room into partial darkness before climbing over me. His eyes maintaining their red color. 

His touch is feather light as it traces down the side of my jaw, only hinting at the pressure. His free hand brushes my hair away from my face fingers tangling in the strands. 

I gently run my hands up his arms, circling over his shoulders up to his neck. My fingers spread over the back of his head, gliding over to his brow and tracing a finger around the black lining of his eyes. He closes them as I move my fingers down the edge of his face to the edge of his jaw, pressing my lips to the corner of his mouth. 

The Martian is taking things very slow. His hands barely pressing as they work down my body, ghosting over my chest and stomach. His waist pushes my thighs apart as he bend over to mark a path from my ear to my throat. Low rumbles escaping his chest as he helps me out of my t shirt. 

J'onn gives my waist a gentle squeeze, making sure to avoid the bruise as he works my pants off of me. His long fingers wrap around my ankles pulling them over his shoulders, his other hand tilting my chin up to meet his eyes. 

"Keep your eyes on me little one." 

The red color of his eyes are barely darkened, his entire being under complete control. He imprisons a nipple in his mouth, eyes locked on mine, the warm wetness drawing a moan from me. He nips at its twin bud, his teeth creating a sharp spike of pain and pleasure to shoot up my spine, arching me to him. 

J'onn captures my mouth in his, tongue wrapping around mine as his taste consumes me. His fingers slowly tease at my bundle of nerves till I'm writhing against him begging for release. 

His eyes darken around the edges as he brings me close to my peak. Running my fingers up his thighs I grip his solid length in my hand. J'onn buries his face in my throat with a groan at my firm grasp. Deciding to give him a taste of earth intimacy I twist him onto his back, holding his hands down. 

His eyes widen at my sudden move and the images I'm projecting into his mind. His hands fist the sheets as I tease my way down his body to the throbbing length of him. 

Its the first proper look I take of what was inside me last night. J'onn is indeed huge! The hard density of his muscles translating into this aspect of him, make him rock hard as I squeeze. Deciding to torture my Martian, I run my tongue up his length keeping my eyes on his. 

J'onn audibly chokes on his breath, bracing himself on his elbows to take in the visual of me between his thighs playing with the most sensitive part of him. I gaze back into his eyes as I deliberately wrap my lips at his tapered tip, so unlike a human male's. 

A low primal cry fills the air as J'onn struggles under my assault, his hips thrusting into my mouth before I can force them down. 

"Look at me J'onn." I coax his eyes open as he struggles, wanting to see the effect I have on him.

Black eyes meet mine, one if his hands gripping the back of my head as I stare up at him and take him down. Each stroke of my tongue along his length results in his fist tightening in my hair, each hum cause him to arch against the bed, body pulled taut. Each suction on his length makes J'onn release rich, agonized growls. 

Just watching him strain and struggle under me is empowering. By the time J'onn has had enough of my teasing I am wet, aching and ready for him. 

He twists me under him to lay on my stomach, his hand gripping both of mine, stretching me out under him till I can't move. His thighs aggressively force mine apart as sheaths himself in me in one powerful thrust. 

My body struggles under his unyielding grip as J'onn looses himself, harsh pants from him and soft pitched whimpers from me filling the room as J'onn claims me with strong thrusts. His arm curls under my stomach pulling me back against his hips as the hand locking both of mine hold me away from his hips. It results in me having absolutely no room nor leverage to aid his thrusts or prevent them. He body forces me to accept the harsh pace, not a single change in his tempo as he encourages the whimpers, sobs and moans leaving my mouth. 

My body protests under the rough male strength, needing direct stimulation which J'onn seems intent on not providing. He kneels back and pulls me snug against his elevated hips, the angle changing the places he presses inside me. 

An embarrassing mewl escapes my throat, I struggle violently against his tight hold on my wrists, my body too close but not close enough. 

J'onn releases my hips, his free hand gripping my locked hands to fold them behind my back. He pins my wrists together in one hand, the other coming around to circle the front of my neck and heaves my body up against his.

My voice relents under all the sensations, no longer able to utter a single sound as my body tightens in release as he bends over me to nip and lave at the sides of my throat.

J'onn doesn't slow his thrusts even as I twist in his hold from overstimulation. He continues to pump the pulsing steel length of him into me, my mind dissolving into white hot pleasure, tears escaping the corners of my eyes. 

He marks me at the base of my throat. Teeth nearly breaking skin. The unfaltering pace of his hips force pitiful whimpers from me as he releases my wrists and presses my upper body onto the bed, his now free hand fisting itself in my hair. 

He seems intent on ruining me for other men, his fingers playing at my pleasure center coupled with his speeding thrusts pull another climax from me. 

"Oh, god, J'onn... No more!"

"I know what you can take." 

His roughened voice cuts through my thoughts as I realize that J'onn is not done with me. 

He releases a threatening growl in my ear, his fingers tugging and pinching my nipples alternatively in sync with his thrusts. Surrendering to the storm that is J'onn J'onzz, I sob into the pillow, body over heated, raw and bursting with electricity. 

J'onn proves how well he knows exactly what I can take by projecting his arousal into my mind. My orgasm catches me by surprise as I scream out his name, contractions rippling through my entire body. 

My marathon sex runner finally yields to his own pleasure, flooding me with his warm essence and collapsing down over my body, pulling me firmly into his arms. Long fingers massage my trembling thighs, soothing the edges of my sensitivity. Soft Martian words whisper into my ear, their tone intended to ease and assure safety. Too tired to move and far too tired to think, I let his cajoling words pull me into sleep. His tender kiss to the back of my neck the last lucid memory.

**Author's Note:**

> This is a revised work from my first publication on ff.net. I hope you enjoy this version better.


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